Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
