i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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