WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
