I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
