her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
