There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i think im in europe. pls send help
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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