your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
