I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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