I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
