like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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