It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize