Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You've changed since you got that strap on
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
