I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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