and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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