A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
