All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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