Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
