STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
