why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
