so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
