new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
