i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
