just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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