I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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