I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
