Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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