There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize