Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
