Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
