We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
