Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
