I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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