If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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