peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize