Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
