He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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