wat bout pragnant strippers??
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
