This is not my ceiling
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
