i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
