she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
