How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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