The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
