Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
