you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
