Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
