Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
