no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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