ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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