i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
