GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Oh god it's open bar.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
