So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
