A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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