sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
