how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
