her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
