Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i think i have two assholes
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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