my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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