is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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