Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize