sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
