he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
