I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
