Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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