Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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