Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
