laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
