Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize