I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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