i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
