whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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