i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
