their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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