I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
