I hate your face
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
